I was just telling my wife this morning that Rocky Martin looks SO GOOD - WHAT A FREAKIN’ HUNK!!!

Hate ages you worse than any other drug!

That’s what several shitty American beers a day will do to you.

Ricky understands that part of his business is looking good, and good on him for taking good care of his body and staying in great shape. That’s teen idol stuff.

Kid Rock, well, he’s just a walking dumpster fire and always has been. If he hadn’t broken into the music industry he’d be an incel.

I listened to the H3 podcast recently and apparently, kid rock made a song for the Osmosis Jones movie that had some very questionable lyrics when you consider that Osmosis Jones is based on a kid’s show about the body and how it works. You’d think they’d make lyrics relating to the body, word play on bacteria and immune systems and organs etc. but no. The entire song is about how kid rock gets high and drunk and rapes underaged girls on an island.

Examples:

See me cruisin’ in my Caddy

Hoes, they like to call me daddy

Cool, when I’m stylin’

Just rollin’ on the island

Now just in case I pack heat

Keep a case of brew in my backseat

Got a pocket full of cash, hey

Got a fatty in my ashtray

Also this lyric:

Can’t call me, just page me (Daddy, yeah)

Young ladies, young ladies

I like 'em underage, see

Some say that’s statutory

But I say it’s mandatory

Very wholesome and normal.

Kid Rock turned into Meth Rock

Kid Rock was born in January 1971 and Ricky Martin in December 1971. The difference in these roughly 11 months apparently means either looking like a rotting corpse pulled from a dumpster or like a fit latino daddy.

Kid Rock looks like he’s waiting under a bridge to ask you his questions three.

Kid Rock looks like Dr. (Mr?) Phil in a greasy wig with somehow worse facial hair.

Fuck 'em both.

This is not a fair comparison. This is like saying “my ten day old dogshit sandwich tastes worse than my ten day old cake”

I had a thought that he should drop the “Kid” from his name then I realised he probably calls his dick “Rock”…

Another fun fact: We know Ricky Martin can count to at least 3, this has yet to be confirmed for Kid Rock, but signs point to no.

I am a hetero male. No homo. But I have a thing for Ricky Martin. Again, no homo.

Kid’s performance of dancing pathetically on that stage all alone looked like a reject at his own party he paid a total of 75$ to throw.