This is a pattern that if applied broadly feels guaranteed to spiral into the opposite of the desired outcome.
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Be rude as a rule to men
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Men interpret what was once ‘rude’ as normal behavior
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Stepping positively outside the new normal gets interpreted as possible sexual interest
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Now you are required to be even ruder baseline to avoid misinterpretation, and men just get treated worse socially.
I can’t fathom being so sensitive and so chronically online that you need to post a genuine Response to a fucking jokey post about girls needing to be a little mean to make creepy dudes go away.
If you ever wonder, “Why am I single? Why won’t someone date me?” It’s because you say stupid shit like this. You’re not a victim, dude, so stop acting like one.
Please downvote and block me if you disagree, I need less stupid in my life.
I see you’re already on step 4
They’re describing a well-understood sociological phenomenon. Sorry you’re so triggered by actual human psychology
I can’t fathom being so sensitive and so chronically online that you need to post a genuine Response to a fucking jokey post about girls needing to be a little mean to make creepy dudes go away.
Oh no, I’ve replied to a meme in a non-hostile way without downvoting it and boosted its platform visibility. How dare I?
If you ever wonder, “Why am I single? Why won’t someone date me?” It’s because you say stupid shit like this. You’re not a victim, dude, so stop acting like one.
Engaged, but appreciate the concern for my dating life.
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As just a random guy, I might conflate their kindness for interest because I get so little attention and positive reinforcement. No one is there telling us we are beautiful or talented or smart or whatever with any frequency, even if you have these qualities.
Your full attention already feels like more than a kindness. And the additional, actual, kindness can be taken for interest because of the paucity of people interested in “random guy”.
I don’t think women are wholly wrong for getting this type of attitude. It has to be frustrating and draining constantly fending off suitors when you just wanted a normal nice chat or something.
Just thought I’d share my older man perspective.
Not just suitors, I’m afraid. The vast majority of the women you will meet in your life have been the victim of some form of sexual harassment, if not outright assault or rape.
So, yeah, it’s disheartening but I totally agree with your perspective on this.
TIL the word ‘paucity’
I think it may be a little more complex than this. I’m a man that was quite good looking in my youth. I got fat and ugly in middle age, and became invisible to women. Now, at 60, I’m in the best physical shape of my life, have largely recovered my looks, I dress nicely, and am blown away about how differently I am treated by women now, especially women over 40. I regularly get compliments about my appearance, and due to the halo effect I seem to collect compliments on nearly everything I do. Having been invisible to women for more than a decade, it feels a little strange to be showered with attention.
That said, not every woman wants the same thing from me, but they do all seem to want my attention, including married women, oddly enough. They want to feel pretty, feel desired, even if they aren’t going to act on those feelings. I frequently get women showing clear signs of interest (intentionally putting themselves in my orbit, mirroring my behavior, initiating physical touch, etc., etc.) in an effort to draw a response from me, even women who are not in a position to follow through on their actions. These are not women just being kind or benignly friendly. Here is one recent example. I was at a friend’s birthday party, and was approached by a woman I had met in dance class. She was moderately flirty during the the course of our conversation, and asked if I were seeing anyone, as she had noted seeing me regularly with one of my female friends. Our conversation ended with her stating that she was looking forward to seeing me in class. At the next class, she wore a sexy black cocktail dress, which was a bit out of character for her. For me, she was showing clear and unmistakable signs of interest. However, when talking, she mentions her husband in passing, which made me wonder what the hell was going on. I later learned that her husband is in the late stages of pancreatic cancer. My takeaway from this experience is that she was trying to elicit my interest to bask in the glow of my male attention, and that she probably isn’t looking to step out on him (which is something that I wouldn’t engage with).
In the last 6 months, I’ve had many other similar experiences, where women are definitely seeking my attention in circumstances where they have no intention of following through. It feels good to be desired, whether you are a man or a woman, and if a woman is constantly drawing romantic interest “accidentally”, it’s worth it for her to consider what energy she is putting out.
Fat ugly chicks get raped too.
Your train of thought falls apart when you realize one thing: the bar for “attractiveness” is infinitely higher for men than women. Women don’t need to be “putting out energy”. All they need to do is exist at the right place at the right time.
Edit: I should clarify. As a man, I’m not jealous of this. Women’s lives are shit because they are constantly getting attention from the wrong people in the wrong way.
Context is everything. Sure, men are more aggressive and women will definitely get some unwanted attention. People often think that as a consequence, women don’t want to be approached by men in public. However, if you dig deeper, women don’t mind being approached, so long it is done by someone they want to be approached by. It is the reality captured by the “Hello, Human Resources” meme.
It’s far more about how someone approaches than about who approaches.
I just assume no one is interested in me ever, no matter how nice they are to me. I also go out of my way to avoid contact with humans in the first place.
This is the way.
Mood
I feel like if a guy wants to know if a woman is interested explicit relations, he should just come out and ask, and if the answer is no, he should accept it. Why can’t clear and direct communication be a thing?
Why can’t clear and direct communication be a thing?
Because for the most part people assume everyone is on their wavelength. Put it online and the problem compounds due to context being stripped away.
In my experience men are much more clear when they like someone than women are. Men are less likely to make it a “game”. Men are more likely too push it even when rejected I won’t deny that, but women have done the same as well.
My buddy recently got a new gf. He offered to go outside and start her car and clear the snow off of it. She no please don’t do that you aren’t even dressed yet. So he didn’t do it then she came home and expressed she was upset he didn’t try harder to do it anyway. They took that as a lesson and he pushes a little more on stuff like that but he also asked her to not say no directly like that and make it easier for him to insist.
I think we all wish for this, no? It’s just that a fraction of people are creeps and they will creep.
Well it’s a heluva lot more awkward once they know you thiught you could get with’em now isn’t it ?
And?
It means where you might once have been friends, because you wanted to know if they wanted to go further, you may now be estranged (?dont know thzt that’s the word) which is sad, because you probably both enjoyed each other’s company.
This is where clear communication comes in. Te ability to deal with difficult topics and emotions in a mature manner is part of that. It doesn’t NEED to remain awkward.
There’s safety in being indirect (you can retreat into the ambiguity), and there’s the “handshake” aspect of it too where it can prove they understand you on a deeper level than what’s explicitly on the surface.
Something about drinking poison and expecting the other to die comes to mind.
Jokes on you I’m into that shit
Same reason I’m mean to women. I wouldn’t want them thinking I want to sleep with them.
Reminds me of the meme that goes something like : “she’s not into you. She’s hot and you’re horny, no the same thing.”
not me, i just assume you think im a special lil guy
That lipstick with that shirt tho
Well, since I can’t see the difference, I make advances on no one. I hated all the moments I was made aware that a woman who I was attracted to had an interest in me, though - it was always too late
But yes, most men are creeps or even worse, and women have to protect themselves. Couldn’t imagine being in their shoes
I’ll be honest, just disregard all these kind of posts and just be sincere and unregarded about the world at large. Neither feminist nor right wing dating advice will get you anywhere, you’ll just go advancing their agenda.
Just move forward in live, whatever that means to you; act like the world is going to acomodate you and it’ll most likely will (tho, this assumes you have secured a source of income, capitalist society and such).
So many upset men triggered by this lol
Go on, rain the downvotes, idgaf. Im a man and this is a serious problem.
It scares me to think how many other guys around me are predators. And it absolutely infuriates me to think about how long society has normalized this type of behavior.
I don’t care how horny I am - that’s my own damn problem to solve. Period.
100% agreed. Ive known too many men in the past who felt otherwise.
For fucking REAL! These triggered little dudes in the top comments saying “this will spiral to the opposite of the desired outcome” — like stfu bitch, it👏was👏a👏joke👏
This doesn’t require analysis. It’s not that serious. Men can be creepy as fuck, so sometimes women be mean to get men to Go Away. It’s not deep, it was obviously meant in a jokey way, and it takes a very special kind of chronically online loser male to be offended by something like this.
Conversely if you are this triggered by a neutral response to a shitpost maybe switch to a social media that just doesn’t allow replies?
💯
If you’re bothered by this, you just might be part of the Problem
If I was a woman, id absolutely do this to keep myself safe.
I like going through all the posts like these so I can tag people who whine about how men have it so hard or whatever incel nonsense they spout to derail. I always end up with at least 5 new users tagged (across a spectrum of descriptors). They just… there are so many of them… everywhere…
